Oh Hey MARCH! What in the actual hell are you doing here already? I am so unprepared for you and you are the culprit behind my daughter turning ONE! (Insert
When you think postpartum, what is the first thing that comes to your mind? For me its Postpartum Anxiety (PPA). It’s powerful, it’s debilitating and it’s real. I should be embarrassed to say that I didn’t even know PPA was a thing until I found myself suffering from it and looking everywhere for answers for feeling the way that I did. You see, I was a pretty anxious, uptight turd before having a baby and those feelings and emotions only exponentially grew once my daughter was born. Almost
Jacob; my husband, my best friend, my supporter and the closest person to me just didn’t understand, I mean how could he? He did everything in his ability to help me feel calm, supported and loved yet I still felt the rush of emotions and the flood of tears. I would sit in the shower alone and cry, I would sit in the cold and pray fresh air would magically slow my heartbeat and I would frantically clean thinking, if I had the perfectly cleaned, non-cluttered house, I would be healed. You guessed it, that didn’t heal me. I pray and prayed and prayed, I knew God heard me and had his hand in my healing but I still struggled. The anixety didn’ hit until 2-3 months in, Jacob had gone back to work, I financially needed to go back to work, my closest friends slowly became closer friends with other people, I started feeling left out and that added to my feeling of aloneness. How could I have everything I dreamed of having and still feel so overwhelmed and unprepared to deal with these new emotions?
It’s been a year since having my daughter and I still haven’t answered any of those questions and I am still navigating through the emotions and anxiety. I will say moving into a larger home, with a nursery of Charlies own, which allowed me to finally nest made a huge difference. Through gaining confidence in motherhood, growing into this new life of my own and focusing on the controllable’s in life has helped tremendously. I could go on and on and on about PPA but then we would be here forever and nobody wants that, so you guys get the cliff notes of it. The good news is that, I am here, I am present and I am getting through it.
Now onto the good stuff, the women below have shared their personal stories and experience of Postpartum, like all of us, they each have a different view and are sharing intimate thoughts. Enjoy xoxo